Post by amelia jane hawthorne on Aug 31, 2010 23:42:16 GMT
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AMELIA JANE HAWTHORNE ,,
mia. seventeen. sixth form. straight. blake lively.
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"
" I goes I should start of by saying that, a lot of people have said I’m nice. i guess you could say that, because i I just don‘t go out of my way to be rude to people. I can actually be really shy at times. i always have been, especially since i grew up in a very conservative family; not to mention super religious. I’ve known manners always come first before anything, and that’s one of the things i abide by. i always find first impression matter the most, because even if someone may like you, they could always remember the first time they really did meet you. i try not to boast and i don’t like bragging very much. I’m timid, at best, you could say. I’m very quiet and I’m very shy, because I’ve always had people problems growing up. maybe it’s that kind of purity thing i seem to shine off that people say I’m pure and innocent. you’ll have to find out for yourself, though
another thing is that i have a very strong patience with people. I’ve grown up with two older brothers, both twins, it’s probably a miracle that I’m so patient, but it’s taken a lot of practice. i don’t get mad very easily, but i am stubborn. that’s one of the flaws i have. if i don’t get my way, then i can huff and huff until the end of the week and still be mad, it’s horrible. i usually brush off whining and i usually brush off anything that can be taken in a rude manner, because i know that in five minutes, someone else will be getting the same treatment as i was. i don’t mind if you talk about me, talk about me all you want, I’ll just be the better person and ignore it.
although i may seem to be happy all the time, I’m not. i have long periods of time when i can be upset, and very upset. it doesn’t happen often, which is why, when it does, it is pretty bad. it takes a lot for me to feel so down about myself, but I’ve had trouble with my body and my self-image for years, past and present. I’m good at keep secrets from people, especially ones I’m very close to, because i don’t want to bother them with it. I’m very secretive and I’m also very nervous, which does come in handy sometimes, but most of the time, it’s a curse rather than a blessing. it’s alright, though. i like myself just how i am, despite all of it.
Then there is the side of me most people don‘t think exist, the wild child. I know I sound ridiculous saying this, but sometimes I just like to let loose, have fun ya know? I‘m not a huge fan of doing drugs and such, but I can‘t say I‘m completely drug free. I‘m a human being, hasn‘t everyone tried drugs at least once in their life. I do drink sometimes, but not a lot like other people my age seem to be, but I like to go out a lot and just hangout. You can have fun without being intoxicated, right?
Lets see as for things I like, I guess I could name a few. I love bonfires, and the way you smell after them. Speaking of bonfires I loves fall, smores, swimming and photography. I like to be cuddled and cute things guys do for girls they like
As for dislikes, well there are a few of those I could throw out I guess. I don‘t like it when people try to hard to impress someone, it‘s ridiculous just be yourself, I hate being beaten with religion, and to be honest I‘m not sure I really believe in all of that anymore but shhh. "
" I goes I should start of by saying that, a lot of people have said I’m nice. i guess you could say that, because i I just don‘t go out of my way to be rude to people. I can actually be really shy at times. i always have been, especially since i grew up in a very conservative family; not to mention super religious. I’ve known manners always come first before anything, and that’s one of the things i abide by. i always find first impression matter the most, because even if someone may like you, they could always remember the first time they really did meet you. i try not to boast and i don’t like bragging very much. I’m timid, at best, you could say. I’m very quiet and I’m very shy, because I’ve always had people problems growing up. maybe it’s that kind of purity thing i seem to shine off that people say I’m pure and innocent. you’ll have to find out for yourself, though
another thing is that i have a very strong patience with people. I’ve grown up with two older brothers, both twins, it’s probably a miracle that I’m so patient, but it’s taken a lot of practice. i don’t get mad very easily, but i am stubborn. that’s one of the flaws i have. if i don’t get my way, then i can huff and huff until the end of the week and still be mad, it’s horrible. i usually brush off whining and i usually brush off anything that can be taken in a rude manner, because i know that in five minutes, someone else will be getting the same treatment as i was. i don’t mind if you talk about me, talk about me all you want, I’ll just be the better person and ignore it.
although i may seem to be happy all the time, I’m not. i have long periods of time when i can be upset, and very upset. it doesn’t happen often, which is why, when it does, it is pretty bad. it takes a lot for me to feel so down about myself, but I’ve had trouble with my body and my self-image for years, past and present. I’m good at keep secrets from people, especially ones I’m very close to, because i don’t want to bother them with it. I’m very secretive and I’m also very nervous, which does come in handy sometimes, but most of the time, it’s a curse rather than a blessing. it’s alright, though. i like myself just how i am, despite all of it.
Then there is the side of me most people don‘t think exist, the wild child. I know I sound ridiculous saying this, but sometimes I just like to let loose, have fun ya know? I‘m not a huge fan of doing drugs and such, but I can‘t say I‘m completely drug free. I‘m a human being, hasn‘t everyone tried drugs at least once in their life. I do drink sometimes, but not a lot like other people my age seem to be, but I like to go out a lot and just hangout. You can have fun without being intoxicated, right?
Lets see as for things I like, I guess I could name a few. I love bonfires, and the way you smell after them. Speaking of bonfires I loves fall, smores, swimming and photography. I like to be cuddled and cute things guys do for girls they like
As for dislikes, well there are a few of those I could throw out I guess. I don‘t like it when people try to hard to impress someone, it‘s ridiculous just be yourself, I hate being beaten with religion, and to be honest I‘m not sure I really believe in all of that anymore but shhh. "
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"
Let’s see there is my father Richard David Hawthorne, he is a priest at a church right by our house. He is really protective me, and sometimes I feel like I live back in the 1800’s. He and I really don’t have a strong relationship anymore, because he seems to think I have “turned on our religion” and to be honest I kind of did. Though I do pity any guy that’s mildly interested in me, he’s the type to sit on the porch with a gun. As for my mother, well she seems to be ashamed of my ways lately, which I don’t blame her because she is all into the religious scene and hardly ever associated with anyone because she’s afraid they will rub off their ungodliness onto her. Ridiculous right? Oh, and my parents plan on introducing me to some nice catholic boy, in hopes that we will marry but that will never happen , not in this life anyways I tend to date the guys my parents seem to hate. I have two twin brothers who are both twenty five now, and I hardly ever speak to them actually its been a while and I miss them terribly. Jacob went his own way with his band and stuff and my mother hated it, so he was kicked out and banned from our family, Josiah fell in love with another man so of course he wasn’t part of our family anymore. But if they were so godly, then why would you banish all contact from your sons? Would god like that?!"
Let’s see there is my father Richard David Hawthorne, he is a priest at a church right by our house. He is really protective me, and sometimes I feel like I live back in the 1800’s. He and I really don’t have a strong relationship anymore, because he seems to think I have “turned on our religion” and to be honest I kind of did. Though I do pity any guy that’s mildly interested in me, he’s the type to sit on the porch with a gun. As for my mother, well she seems to be ashamed of my ways lately, which I don’t blame her because she is all into the religious scene and hardly ever associated with anyone because she’s afraid they will rub off their ungodliness onto her. Ridiculous right? Oh, and my parents plan on introducing me to some nice catholic boy, in hopes that we will marry but that will never happen , not in this life anyways I tend to date the guys my parents seem to hate. I have two twin brothers who are both twenty five now, and I hardly ever speak to them actually its been a while and I miss them terribly. Jacob went his own way with his band and stuff and my mother hated it, so he was kicked out and banned from our family, Josiah fell in love with another man so of course he wasn’t part of our family anymore. But if they were so godly, then why would you banish all contact from your sons? Would god like that?!"
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"I have lived in cornwall my whole life, up until I was like twelve, then my parents shipped me off to Boston to go to a catholic school. Finally I decided enough was enough, I don’t really want to live this lifestyle so I’m back and thankfully my parents offered me my old room back. "
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"my family was heavily religious. that’s the first thing i need to tell you about them. my brothers were born before me, two years, actually. they were a handful apparently, but when you have two twin sons, i can why that is. my mother had given birth to me in the early hours in april.. growing up, we were all heavily sheltered. we couldn’t watch tv that much and we had to go to church every sunday and sunday school, as well. my mom used to be a struggling actress when she was younger, and said she found herself when she found god. go figure. i was so little at the time that i didn’t really realize how much of a restriction my parents had on me. my brothers, Jacob and Josiah, were protective over me, even then. it was nice to feel like a whole family, because we were one unit. we were whole, despite the differences we all had. to tell you the truth, i couldn’t really tell the difference between my brothers until i was about four years old, but sh, don’t tell them that.
my brothers and i lived a very quiet life. it was mostly the three of us, because my mom was scared of other people. see, she was a very religious woman, and she believed that everyone who would come in close counter with us was a bath of sin and we weren’t allowed to be around them. that kind of strengthened our bond together, as siblings. when we were younger it was just the three of us and no one else. we went to catholic school and i was happy that i got to get away from rulers, even if that may have been a myth. i guess my life didn’t really start until i reached high school, and boy, was that one hell of a start.
i guess i should cut to the chase. my family had fallen apart when my brothers and i got enrolled into public school for the first time. Jacob and Josiah had a stronger bond that i did with them, because they were connected internally since they were identical twins. seeing one without the other was just like seeing half of a person, to be honest. my brother, Jacob, was introduced to the bad crowd in high school. he took in all the vices that my mother tried so hard for us to fight. Jacob became a pothead and he even tried harder drugs. my mother kicked him out when he was seventeen and he found his own life that way. heaven knows how, but I’ve barley spoken to him since then, and it’s been around four years since then. my brother Josiah, too, experienced his own spiritual enlightenment. he fell in love with his best friend, Kyle Reed. my mother wasn’t going to have any of that, and then, i became the only Hawthorne child worth mentioning at get togethers. during middle school, i was quiet. i was in most AP classes and i did photography club .during that. i mainly studied art and photography, seeing as that’s what i really wanted to. during that time, though, i was bullied. it was funny, because most girls just picked on me because of being so shy and quiet and asked me to do their homework. i never entertained the idea of drugs or alcohol or parties, for that matter. i just wanted to study and do well.
Now that I’m in my last year of high school and I’m back in Cornwall, which by the way I went to America for a while to go to school, because my parents felt like I wasn’t getting the best education I could and of course it was an all girls Catholic school, fun right? Anyways I have changed a lot sure I’m still shy at times, but I’m not this innocent little girl my parents want me to be anymore, I actually feel like the only reason they still put up with me is because I haven’t done anything too irrational yet.
"
my brothers and i lived a very quiet life. it was mostly the three of us, because my mom was scared of other people. see, she was a very religious woman, and she believed that everyone who would come in close counter with us was a bath of sin and we weren’t allowed to be around them. that kind of strengthened our bond together, as siblings. when we were younger it was just the three of us and no one else. we went to catholic school and i was happy that i got to get away from rulers, even if that may have been a myth. i guess my life didn’t really start until i reached high school, and boy, was that one hell of a start.
i guess i should cut to the chase. my family had fallen apart when my brothers and i got enrolled into public school for the first time. Jacob and Josiah had a stronger bond that i did with them, because they were connected internally since they were identical twins. seeing one without the other was just like seeing half of a person, to be honest. my brother, Jacob, was introduced to the bad crowd in high school. he took in all the vices that my mother tried so hard for us to fight. Jacob became a pothead and he even tried harder drugs. my mother kicked him out when he was seventeen and he found his own life that way. heaven knows how, but I’ve barley spoken to him since then, and it’s been around four years since then. my brother Josiah, too, experienced his own spiritual enlightenment. he fell in love with his best friend, Kyle Reed. my mother wasn’t going to have any of that, and then, i became the only Hawthorne child worth mentioning at get togethers. during middle school, i was quiet. i was in most AP classes and i did photography club .during that. i mainly studied art and photography, seeing as that’s what i really wanted to. during that time, though, i was bullied. it was funny, because most girls just picked on me because of being so shy and quiet and asked me to do their homework. i never entertained the idea of drugs or alcohol or parties, for that matter. i just wanted to study and do well.
Now that I’m in my last year of high school and I’m back in Cornwall, which by the way I went to America for a while to go to school, because my parents felt like I wasn’t getting the best education I could and of course it was an all girls Catholic school, fun right? Anyways I have changed a lot sure I’m still shy at times, but I’m not this innocent little girl my parents want me to be anymore, I actually feel like the only reason they still put up with me is because I haven’t done anything too irrational yet.
"
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so hey! i'm [bree] and there is no doubt about it,
i'm a [girl]. i've been rocking in this world for [eighteen].
yanno this crazy shit called roleplaying? well i've been
doing it for [five yurrs] weeks/months/years.
i'm a [girl]. i've been rocking in this world for [eighteen].
yanno this crazy shit called roleplaying? well i've been
doing it for [five yurrs] weeks/months/years.
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For the first year of Raleighs young life Bentley had only the help of her bother in raising the little girl, and even though her mother was super supportive she wanted Bentley too take care of Raleigh as much as she possibly could. So when she wasn’t on tour she toted the toddler with her where ever she went, even too rehearsal a few times just because she knew once they went on tour her poor mother would have too watch Raleigh a lot and that made Bentley feel terrible. She never had been the type of person too cast her priorities onto other people. It made things seem so unbalanced , and she felt this huge amount of quilt creep upon herself very time she left Raleigh behind with her grandmother too do a show. Though when she got on stage, and found both her mother and her baby girl out in the crowd it made things seem a hell of a lot better. Then once they were finished Bentley always took Raleigh off her mothers hand’s and explored the crowds with her daughter in tow. The merch kids were also a huge help, most of them adored Raleigh and had volunteered too watch the toddler while they were on stage, and she sat quietly in their laps while they worked the tents.
Everyone always said young moms were bound too be bad moms, but Bentley was determined too prove them wrong. Sure, she did agree with them that it was hard, but she was almost positive that no matter how old you are that first child is always going to be difficult too figure out, but once she got the hang of it , things only got easier as each day passed. She felt like she had been a pretty good mother so far too her daughter. She tended too her every need, and the child was spoiled rotten. Now the only thing she needed in her life, was a father, and even though Bentley had deprived poor little Raleigh of him for a whole year she wanted them to have an amazing bond; and so desperately hoped that her little girl would be a daddy’s girl because she knew what it was like too not have that bond with you’re father and it brought on so much pain. She wanted Raleigh too scream for Nico when she got hurt, wanted her too want him over her. The bond a father and a daughter had was something Bentley refused too let her daughter miss out on.
Now here she was, trying too make this little dream of hers a reality, even if Nico decided he didn’t want too be with Bentley she hoped too god he would at least want too be in his little girls life. She figured he was mad, and he had every right too be. If it were her in his shoes, she would of probably refused too talk too talk to herself but obviously he was a bigger person than she was and it was showing. Or was it because he loved her? No, that was just her getting ahead of herself and thinking things could be perfectly okay, when in reality they weren’t at all. I mean she had kept his child form him for a whole year, and just up and left..leaving him heart broken. She just hoped that somewhere inside his head, he could find a way too understand why she left. Understand that she was afraid of what would happen if she stuck around to let him know, afraid he would deny both her and their child. Now she knew different, and even if she wanted to go back and change things; which she did. There was no way that could be done and she was just going too stand here and take whatever he was too disk out too her.
Though he hadn’t yelled at her yet, he looked rather happy. Wait why wasn’t he yelling, weren’t people supposed to yell when they were mad? This caused Bentley’s mind to whirl with endless possibilities as too why he wasn’t yelling at her and instead just starring at her like she was some sort of painting. Then he finally spoke, and said that he and asher we’re never a thing? That didn’t make sense too Bentley because they sure acted like they we’re a “thing”. I mean she knew he had always been the type too sleep around, but he seemed incredibly close with this girl and their flirting was a little over the top. So there has too be something going on, right? Chewing at her bottom lip, she slid her foot across the sand , looking up too him ” but you two..you uh..you know a lot, and I just… I don’t get it?” she stated, wondering whether she really wanted him too even reply too that or not. Thinking about him being with someone else, someone like Asher killed her inside more than anything. It wasn’t that she thought Asher was a bad person, I mean sure she had been quick too judge but that was only because she was extremely jealous and wanted too be the girl he was with..and not Asher.
”you’re not stupid Bentley”, sure he said it, but did he really mean it? She felt incredibly stupid and naïve for doing what she had. When he stepped closer, she just looked up into his eyes finding herself just as lost in them as she had been nearly two years ago. That spark was still there, that undeniable connection was still as connected as ever or at leas tit was for her and she hoped too god he still felt it.. Though when he took her hand and intertwined their fingers, she couldn’t help but too smile like an idiot. ” You..forgive me.. ? Why..?” she questioned running her hand lightly down his cheek , then letting it fall back down too her side. It’s not that didn’t want him too forgive her, because she did. She just didn’t know how he could, I mean she had done one of the worse things too him possible and too make matters worse she was crying too him like some victim. When in reality he was the victim all along, and she was the one who had committed the crime. i...i want to be with you, i love you bentley summers”, then he said it..he said he loved her. Like not in the past tense but like as in he loved her now, this very second he loved her and that was all she needed too hear. That’s all she had wanted too hear and she made a promise too herself that she would never hurt him again.
Being taken into his grasp shocked her a little, so she just stood there like a statue though when she realized what she was doing she let out a soft laugh and buried her face into his neck placing her arms securely around his neck. A soon as he wiped the tears away, it was only a matter of seconds before more hot salty tears were running down her sun kissed cheeks. Though these tears we’re different, completely different. They were tears of joy, tears of pure happiness. Then everything happened so quickly, and it felt like the whole world was spinning. She felt dizzy, light headed and this caused a few girlish giggles too leave her form. Her lips were tingling from where he had kissed her and she felt like a little school girl, who had a huge crush on someone boy and he finally made her dreams come true by laying a long awaited kiss onto their lips. ” I love you too, you have no idea how much I have wanted too hear you say that.” she stated quietly, her vocals down to a mere whisper.
Then he apologized, he was apologizing? No, she knew he had every right too be upset with her hell she was expecting him too never want too see her face again, but here he was telling her he loved her and that he wanted too be with her? ” OH nico..” she stated, with a gentle sigh of contentment, before pulling away from the kiss and placing her forehead once more again his. ” you really want too be with me.. Like with me with me, as in be with no other girls..just me?”
Everyone always said young moms were bound too be bad moms, but Bentley was determined too prove them wrong. Sure, she did agree with them that it was hard, but she was almost positive that no matter how old you are that first child is always going to be difficult too figure out, but once she got the hang of it , things only got easier as each day passed. She felt like she had been a pretty good mother so far too her daughter. She tended too her every need, and the child was spoiled rotten. Now the only thing she needed in her life, was a father, and even though Bentley had deprived poor little Raleigh of him for a whole year she wanted them to have an amazing bond; and so desperately hoped that her little girl would be a daddy’s girl because she knew what it was like too not have that bond with you’re father and it brought on so much pain. She wanted Raleigh too scream for Nico when she got hurt, wanted her too want him over her. The bond a father and a daughter had was something Bentley refused too let her daughter miss out on.
Now here she was, trying too make this little dream of hers a reality, even if Nico decided he didn’t want too be with Bentley she hoped too god he would at least want too be in his little girls life. She figured he was mad, and he had every right too be. If it were her in his shoes, she would of probably refused too talk too talk to herself but obviously he was a bigger person than she was and it was showing. Or was it because he loved her? No, that was just her getting ahead of herself and thinking things could be perfectly okay, when in reality they weren’t at all. I mean she had kept his child form him for a whole year, and just up and left..leaving him heart broken. She just hoped that somewhere inside his head, he could find a way too understand why she left. Understand that she was afraid of what would happen if she stuck around to let him know, afraid he would deny both her and their child. Now she knew different, and even if she wanted to go back and change things; which she did. There was no way that could be done and she was just going too stand here and take whatever he was too disk out too her.
Though he hadn’t yelled at her yet, he looked rather happy. Wait why wasn’t he yelling, weren’t people supposed to yell when they were mad? This caused Bentley’s mind to whirl with endless possibilities as too why he wasn’t yelling at her and instead just starring at her like she was some sort of painting. Then he finally spoke, and said that he and asher we’re never a thing? That didn’t make sense too Bentley because they sure acted like they we’re a “thing”. I mean she knew he had always been the type too sleep around, but he seemed incredibly close with this girl and their flirting was a little over the top. So there has too be something going on, right? Chewing at her bottom lip, she slid her foot across the sand , looking up too him ” but you two..you uh..you know a lot, and I just… I don’t get it?” she stated, wondering whether she really wanted him too even reply too that or not. Thinking about him being with someone else, someone like Asher killed her inside more than anything. It wasn’t that she thought Asher was a bad person, I mean sure she had been quick too judge but that was only because she was extremely jealous and wanted too be the girl he was with..and not Asher.
”you’re not stupid Bentley”, sure he said it, but did he really mean it? She felt incredibly stupid and naïve for doing what she had. When he stepped closer, she just looked up into his eyes finding herself just as lost in them as she had been nearly two years ago. That spark was still there, that undeniable connection was still as connected as ever or at leas tit was for her and she hoped too god he still felt it.. Though when he took her hand and intertwined their fingers, she couldn’t help but too smile like an idiot. ” You..forgive me.. ? Why..?” she questioned running her hand lightly down his cheek , then letting it fall back down too her side. It’s not that didn’t want him too forgive her, because she did. She just didn’t know how he could, I mean she had done one of the worse things too him possible and too make matters worse she was crying too him like some victim. When in reality he was the victim all along, and she was the one who had committed the crime. i...i want to be with you, i love you bentley summers”, then he said it..he said he loved her. Like not in the past tense but like as in he loved her now, this very second he loved her and that was all she needed too hear. That’s all she had wanted too hear and she made a promise too herself that she would never hurt him again.
Being taken into his grasp shocked her a little, so she just stood there like a statue though when she realized what she was doing she let out a soft laugh and buried her face into his neck placing her arms securely around his neck. A soon as he wiped the tears away, it was only a matter of seconds before more hot salty tears were running down her sun kissed cheeks. Though these tears we’re different, completely different. They were tears of joy, tears of pure happiness. Then everything happened so quickly, and it felt like the whole world was spinning. She felt dizzy, light headed and this caused a few girlish giggles too leave her form. Her lips were tingling from where he had kissed her and she felt like a little school girl, who had a huge crush on someone boy and he finally made her dreams come true by laying a long awaited kiss onto their lips. ” I love you too, you have no idea how much I have wanted too hear you say that.” she stated quietly, her vocals down to a mere whisper.
Then he apologized, he was apologizing? No, she knew he had every right too be upset with her hell she was expecting him too never want too see her face again, but here he was telling her he loved her and that he wanted too be with her? ” OH nico..” she stated, with a gentle sigh of contentment, before pulling away from the kiss and placing her forehead once more again his. ” you really want too be with me.. Like with me with me, as in be with no other girls..just me?”
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